I love working with our doula clients. They’re smart. They’re inspiring. They’re determined. And they are focused on being loving, dedicated parents. Many of them have spent much of their lives getting what they want: setting goals, making plans, and succeeding. During our initial phone calls and meetings, I and the rest of the DCMM team learn what their hopes are, discuss possibilities with them, and often help them figure out what they think will work best for their family during birth and postpartum.
Often, when we meet clients, they express how frustrating it is that there are so many unknowns around birth.
Few people, even carefree mothers without five-year-plans, love how unpredictable birth and the first months with a new baby can be. To make sure that they and baby are safe, most parents want some sense of control. The common solution to this is a birth plan. After all, many of us have lived by the mantra that “if you fail to plan, then plan to fail.”
While birth planning is a feature of DCMM’s prenatal visits with our birth doula clients, I usually provide a word of caution:
Rigid birth plans can set parents up for disappointment if they fall through.
One of our key roles as your doulas is to be present in the moment if something unexpected arises. And that can start by helping you plan effectively.
To make sure that our clients are getting the most out of their birth plans, we recommend these following tips:
1. Identify your priorities.
Every birth and family is different. There are many different ways to handle the physical and emotional challenges of labor and most of our clients have a couple of things that are most important to them.
Focus on how you’d like to feel about the experience. Whatever will help you with that feeling should make it into your birth plan.
We tend to summarize our client’s wishes in a few bullet points at the beginning of our birth plan template.
2. Make your birth plan easy for your providers to read.
This is a time when less really is more. Your doctors, midwives and labor and delivery nurses are dedicated and compassionate professionals who want you to have the birth you want. But, they’re also busy. Plans that take this into account can be incredibly helpful.
And don’t worry about needing to write out every word for your doula. When you go into labor, we’ll review your plan for sure on our way to your hospital or birth center. But we build a relationship in advance so that we understand you, and we’ll listen to you.
3. Consider plan B (and C, and D).
In birth, we have to expect the unexpected. You can handle this in different ways- some choose to think ahead in case they change their mind (about pain management for instance), or a medical need arises. They like backup plans, and your provider and doula can help with those.
Or, if you choose to focus only on your desired outcomes, your doula can talk you through any new scenarios if the need arises. I’m there to be a resource, no matter when the question comes up.
What we don’t recommend is totally “winging it” without learning what to expect or support.
People who take the time to write a birth plan aren’t the sort who’ll want to go into a cesarean or induction without being prepared for their birth.
4. Location, location, location!
Based on tip #1, you might need to simplify your plan. While you’re doing that, the first cuts should be anything that is standard at your birthplace or requests that aren’t possible where you’re giving birth. Every hospital or birth center has standard procedures. Knowing them will help you ensure that your expectations will be met and your plan is in line with what’s likely to happen.
Ask your DCMM doula what you can expect where you’re having your baby. We know, or we’ll help you find out!
5. Sharing is caring (for yourself).
Your plan is most effective if your entire team is aware of it.
The very best way to ensure that your birth plan fits with your location and provider, is to discuss it with your doctor or midwife.
Your medical provider wants to be sure that you have a positive birth experience, and they can tell you if anything about your plan concerns them, or is not possible where you’re delivering. If you have put it in writing, consider giving them a copy for your chart.
In addition to your provider, talk to your other support people about their roles. If you’re in a relationship, how involved would you like your partner to be? Will you want family members with you, or will they be asked to wait? As your doulas, we can help delegate and direct your team, and work with your family and provider to be sure that you’re taken care of.
6. Think beyond birth.
Birth makes you into parents and changes your family forever. And forever is a long time. So rather than writing a birth plan that sees delivery as the end of pregnancy, think of it as the beginning of parenthood. Be sure to think about how you want to feel after the baby is born. Pro-tip: a postpartum doula can help you navigate baby’s first months of life and get through them feeling strong and capable.
And if you want to make a postpartum plan using our template, let us know and we’ll email you here!
[convertkit form=5250297]
Did you find these tips helpful? We have more, and would love to be a resource as you’re planning this exciting time. Give me a call and let’s talk about your birth plan. We want you to keep meeting your goals for parenthood just as you have in the rest of your life.
