Hey you! I see you growing a baby. And I see the checklist that you’re making with all the things you still need after the baby shower.
You have enough clothes, but can you ever have enough diapers? Did you get the changing table you wanted, and when is that car seat going to get installed?
We know that you’re going to get everything that your baby needs. And if you forget something, you’ll Amazon Prime it. What a time to be alive!
But there are some things that our clients consistently forget about when preparing to bring home their baby.
1. Figure out what you’re going to eat during your postpartum recovery.
There’s a lot of focus placed on the importance of feeding your baby. And yes, your baby needs breastmilk or formula to thrive, and it’s your job to make sure that they get it. But if you’re on a doula website, we know you’ll feed your baby.
You know who might not eat well some days during maternity leave? You.
And if you’re going to take care of a baby, you HAVE to eat.
So make a plan ahead of time. Will you Ubereats everything for a couple of weeks? Will you have a meal train? Will your partner, your mama or your postpartum doula do the cooking?
Any of those are totally acceptable options. But please have a plan, so that when you’re sleepy and sore, your stomach isn’t growling too.
And on the topic of food, it’s okay to indulge a little. Eat food that tastes delicious and comforts you. You’ve certainly earned it.
2. Assemble your “fourth-trimester” support team.
And make sure that they’re truly supportive. You need folks around you that will trust your judgment, and let you parent however you please. People who won’t give unsolicited advice, or expect to be entertained. People who will respect if you say “no thanks” to whatever they offer.
Sometimes these people are your partner– you’re cozy and happy, and that’s enough. You are not obligated to have family and friends descend on you after a new baby.
But sometimes, there’s someone in your life that you want to ask for help, and you’re concerned about inconveniencing them. You’re not an inconvenience- you’re the parent of a brand new baby. Ask for the help you need and deserve.
Sometimes, there’s no one in your life who’s just the right fit. That’s our specialty as postpartum doulas, so call us, and we’ll be there.
Remember, your support team doesn’t just include the folks in your home. Sometimes your larger environment helps just as much. You might want to find a new mom group, a breastfeeding support group, or any group of people that will reassure you that you’re doing a good job. If you need recommendations, we have them!
And make sure that the professionals available to you and your new baby (your pediatrician, OB or midwife, lactation consultant, whomever) make you feel good.
3. Focus on the basics.
There is no need to babyproof your home for a newborn. Seriously, she’s not going anywhere yet. And while we’re happy, as postpartum doulas, to help you write thank you notes for the baby shower gifts, that’s not the most important thing for most of our clients. This is your time to heal.
And since you’ve done the good work to assemble the support team we talked about, lean on them when you bring home your baby.
But more than that, remember that the most basic thing of all that your baby needs, is a healthy and whole version of you.
So be sure to include somewhere on your list of priorities during your maternity leave things that light your fire.
Whether it’s painting your nails, getting out for a walk, or bingeing something amazing on Netflix, go for it.
Those are our thoughts as doulas, but we want to hear from the folks who’ve been there recently. What do you wish you’d done when prepping for a new baby?
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