When someone is looking to hire us, or even just make sure that they understand doula support, I usually hop on the phone with them.
The conversation often goes something like this:
“Hi, it’s Samantha! I saw that you’re looking for a doula in DC (or MD or VA)! First off, congratulations! How’s your pregnancy?”
Then, you tell me about what’s happening.
Maybe it’s your first pregnancy, and you’re a little nervous, but very excited. You’ve wanted this forever, but aren’t really sure what to expect when labor comes. How will you know what’s normal? When do you head to the hospital? Do you actually need a birth plan?
You want a doula who knows hospitals in DC, MD and VA, to give you a road map as you have your first baby.
Or, you might already have an older child. And in that case, often, you want something different this time around. You’re looking for someone to bounce ideas off of, and make sure that this time, you are the one in charge of your birth.
A doula for you means being in the driver’s seat when you weren’t before. Maybe we even talk about postpartum doula support, so this time you can truly recover after birth.
And sometimes you’re calling because of something about your pregnancy. Maybe you share with me about previous losses, some health challenges, or your age or weight, and how it’s got you a little nervous. Some reassurance that you’re doing everything possible to have a safe birth would be helpful.
A doula can absolutely help you through a high-risk pregnancy, and your postpartum recovery.
At this point, in the conversation, I usually ask if you’d like to hear how we work, and what our package includes. Then I ask if you have any questions, or if you’d like to set up a consult to meet with your doula team.
Sometimes, there’s a pause here. You say something like…
“I don’t know exactly how to ask this, so I’m just going to say it.”
I laugh internally because I know what’s coming.
“The doulas that you mentioned… Are they… Is she… Well, can we have a Black doula?”
Sometimes you don’t ask for a Black doula exactly. You ask if she’s a woman of color or African American. Or you’re not so direct, but you share that you really want someone who understands how scary all of the statistics are, and you aren’t sure how to feel about all of your doctors being white.
There are times when it seems like you feel bad, for asking for a doula of color, or an African American doula. Almost apologetic.
Listen. Do not apologize for asking for what you want and need. It is not wrong, and bless your heart, you don’t have to whisper.
DC Metro Maternity is a doula company owned by a Black woman. Everyone on our team is a woman of color. It’s by design that we make it easy to find an African American doula, or a Latina.
We know that representation matters. And not just in the sense that we share some melanin, or understand what it’s like to immigrate to this country and be treated differently.
In the midst of a world where Black women are worried about giving birth to our babies safely, and Latinas have to work harder to make themselves heard, someone who believes in your voice is important. So many of us in the DC metro area have federal jobs, and the rhetoric coming out of the government has been stressful to put it lightly.
We believe you when you say that you’re treated differently at appointments if your white husband or wife is in the room, then if they are not.
We have seen that as soon as you google “Black women and pregnancy”, everything is about death, instead of birth, and that hits hard. This is even worse in the DC area, and the google results aren’t much better in Maryland or Virginia.
We trust your instincts, and we also know what it’s like, to feel as though you have to explain your graduate degree and occupation in order to be taken seriously if you have a medical question.
We understand that you never want to feel dismissed and wonder if it’s because of the stereotype that Asian women are submissive.
So yes. You can have a Black doula or doula of color.
And yes, your doula will work harder to make you feel safe. I’m glad you asked.
We’ll make it easy- go to our contact form and you can talk to a Black doula (me), and get us on your team.
