Happy Belated New Year! Yes, although being a labor and postpartum doula doesn’t lend itself to me being super aware of the day of the week, I do know that it’s firmly 2022. I had plans to share reflections sooner, but here we are.
I’m hoping you’ll give me grace, as I hope that you’re giving yourself a bit of grace. You’re having babies, we’re doulaing you through it. We’re still in unprecedented times (I would LOVE a precedent longer than 2 years old, wouldn’t you?)
Life is full.
Now that we’ve cleared that air, I’m excited to share reflections I’ve learned from another year leading DC Metro Maternity.
What happened for DC Metro Maternity’s doula team this year?
- In some ways, our business got smaller. We served fewer clients and we did less marketing. While I love it, Instagram, podcast guesting, and the googles weren’t where it felt best to put my energy.
- In other ways, we expanded. More doulas, more help behind the scenes, and MORE POSTPARTUM. Based on the numbers, and my own perception, we got to dig deep with y’all. We know you, your infants, your partners and who you are.
- We are not a behemoth. But we are thriving, it is steady, and we’re doing it in the midst of a pandemic. Still.
In that spirit, I’ll share some numbers:
We supported 16 labor doula clients and 21 postpartum doula clients (with whom we worked 3777 hours, definitely a new level for us as a team). We supported 2 bereavement doula clients as well.
I taught 6 childbirth education classes, 2 community workshops and 4 doula trainings.
It’s critical to acknowledge that I didn’t do this alone (as you know, if you’ve worked with us this year). Twelve compassionate dedicated doulas worked with me over the course of this year and I’m grateful for each of them. And three folks helped on the backend, doing everything from scheduling and checking email, to posting on instagram and mailing client gifts.
In the course of all of this activity, we learned a lot. And because usually whatever we’re learning applies to our clients, I’d like to share a few of these lessons with y’all.
First and foremost, 2021 was a lesson in the reality that our plans are mere suggestions and aspirations. But thankfully, there is no such thing as behind, in birth, or business.
I would had plans for attending many more births- personally and as a team, but we wouldn’t trade the relationships we got to build this year. By not running around like chickens with our heads cut off, we got to focus on those of you we were privileged to work with. And there’s truly nothing like spending months with our postpartum clients.
Rather than being “behind” on the goals that I set in January. We were right on time for something different, and beautiful.
And for those of you reading this in the midst of pregnancy and postpartum, remember- while circumstances of how something happens may change, babies ALWAYS come on their birthdays.
You cannot be late to the day of your baby’s birth. You cannot be behind in your pushing stage. And whatever goals you’ve adjusted, will come in their own time. In fact, sometimes what happens was better than anything we could have planned!
Relatedly, we are exactly who we need to be, in order to birth who and what we need to birth.
While you know we LOVE a plans– birth plans, postpartum plans, SMART GOALS, all of that- I’m often reminded that what’s right for us, has nothing to do with perfection, or everything going to plan. It has to do with a firm belief that we can trust ourselves.
We’ll be there to remind you of this in your birth room, if you hate the first breastpump you purchase, or when your maternity leave doesn’t feel exactly like you’d planned.
And finally, a lesson I know our clients have to learn as often as I do (we’re hard-headed about this):
Ask for help. Ask for more help than you think you might want.
Do it even if it’s uncomfortable. Even if there’s a voice (real or imagined) saying “how dare you?” because you haven’t burnt yourself out yet, because you’re imperfect, or because you believe that whatever challenge you’re having is just how it is.
If someone says something about how “you’ll be fine” in birth, know that they’re probably telling you the truth. But you can expect MORE than fine. You can expect a safe birth, not just physically, but emotionally. You can expect a birth where you know what’s happening and never feel alone or unsupported. You can expect a memory that you cherish.
If someone asks why you’d have a baby if you didn’t want to parent 24/7, know that their view of parenthood is their own business. You get to have someone to vent to, a nap when you want it, and as much expertise by your side as makes you feel confident.
And finally, a lesson I’m always happy to be reminded of-
There is so much to be grateful for. In part, I could spend time away from social media because you all honored us by referring your pregnant and new mom friends.
There is nothing more meaningful, except perhaps returning yourself (but no pressure on your uteruses. Do what you’d like with them.)
So thank you for 2021. And here’s to the rest of 2022.
May we set some precedents we like.
– Sam <3
