I was reminiscing the other day with someone about a birth doula client who I met in the Spring of 2020. She was due that summer, and as we sat in her living room (masked, probably not quite 6 feet apart), and frankly feeling a little nervous about all the things that had changed. While discussing her birth plan, another team member and I assured her that there was NO WAY we’d have to worry about hospital restrictions in July.
If you had asked me then, I truly would not have believed that in January of 2022, I would be checking hospital policies for when and how we can join our labor doula clients. Or that I would be updating our own policies (again) for when we can postpartum support clients after a COVID exposure to them or their doula.
It’s been an intense two years. We’re all tired. But we’re getting through it.
I’ve seen the media discuss quite a bit recently the impact of COVID restrictions on children. As doulas, we’ve always got our eye on the parents of those children. And the last couple of years have drastically shifted expectations for pregnancy and the postpartum period.
We went from pregnancy being a time of gathering, to one of isolation. First, we had drive-through baby showers. Now, we’re rapid testing before events and all up in one another’s vaccine records.
Home births are on the rise statistically. And anecdotally, more people are interested in postpartum doula support, and then nanny support. This is likely because so many people are trying to keep a small bubble of people in their lives and around their babies. And we’re all searching for some sense of predictability and control.
It looks different to plan for a baby now than it did 5 years ago. So how does one do this successfully?
What is helping our clients reach their labor and postpartum goals these days?
Here are 4 things our clients are doing:
They’re staying informed about the things that may impact their pregnancy, their birth plan their new baby.
We have always recommended taking a childbirth education class, and a newborn care class. Even as they continue to take place on zoom, they still provide a lot of detailed information, a place to ask questions and also to hear what other parents are asking.
Even if you do have a birth doula, it makes a difference if you have knowledge yourself. When you’ve taken a class, we’re providing a reminder about something you’ve learned during the prenatal appointments, and reinforcing your memory. I strongly believe in having your own information to bring to the table.
These days, in addition to the unchanging information about how birthing and babies work, you’ll want to inform yourself about how things about what’s normal at your hospital.
I recommend that people check with their hospital around 36 weeks about the policies in place to prevent COVID. If you have a doula, they should be keeping up with this already. DCMM is! If you don’t have a doula, you can gather this information by:
- Calling the labor and delivery unit at the hospital where you’re planning on delivering
- Talking to your provider about it at your prenatal appointment
Our labor and postpartum doula clients are asking for the help they need to make their plan happen, and being specific about it.
Every year, I see more Black women letting go of the idea that we have to be completely self-sufficient in order to be strong, and I’m rejoicing for us.
The pandemic has made it clear that we can’t be our best in isolation. So don’t expect to just have a baby and go it alone. Invite relatives and friends to be a part of this journey with you.
When you’re getting this help, here are some specific things to consider, that we work through with clients in our postpartum intake-:
- Safety precautions. It’s cold/flu season, we’re still working our way out of COVID variants, and it’s worth considering who can be in your (and your baby’s) orbit that shares your level of precautions.
- Support for you. In our newborn care classes, and postpartum planning sessions, we talk about ensuring that you’ll have what you need for:
- Feeding the baby
- Feeding yourself
- Getting rest
- Your emotional needs
- And finally, childcare. Full disclosure, it is challenging right now, since class sizes may be smaller, and everyone is working to be as safe as possible (which requires some quarantining). You might consider:
- Care.com
- Sitterycity.com
- A nanny agency.
- You can also ask friends or family for reputable childcare, and many daycare providers are taking excellent precautions.
They’re accepting that things may not always go as planned, even with a great birth plan.
Our most successful clients have a plan B, and aren’t holding themselves to unrealistic expectations.
- You may ask for help once your baby is here, and to be honest, it may fall through. This doesn’t mean that you’re not loved, or supported- everyone is just stretched thin.
- You may have a birth plan that shifts drastically. But the act of figuring out your preferences still matters. Making that effort put you in the driver’s seat of your birth, and that can make a huge difference.
They’re not assuming that the sky is falling.
Expectant and new parents who are getting through all of this feeling emotionally whole, believe that they can have a positive experience. And we’re joining each of our doula clients in that belief.
Obviously, it is a lot of work to take power into your own hands, when the world feels a bit chaotic. But our clients tend to be the sort of people who are incredibly capable. And because they’re asking for the help of a doula, they’re not trying to make their birth plan and postpartum plan happen alone.
It is still possible to make decisions based on power, and not pain. And while we don’t quite know what the rest of 2022 holds, we’re glad to be by your side through it.
