It can be hard to imagine as a first-time parent, but eventually, you’ll probably get the hang of this baby thing. You’ll learn your baby’s feeding cues, and mostly fill her belly before she’s screaming. Sleep will become more predictable as well, and you’ll notice when she’s tired and ensure that she rests. Everything settles into a baby routine.
But then inevitably, something will change.
Your baby will seem impossible to satisfy. She’s whining before it’s usually time for her to rest. She seems to need something but barely eats. You might wonder if she’s overstimulated, but it seems like you’re doing everything that you’re supposed to.
What on earth is wrong with the baby?
Well, I have good news: You probably haven’t broken your baby. You don’t have to send her back. (Not like that sounds appealing to most of you anyway.)
If you’re meeting her needs, but she seems dissatisfied, it’s quite likely that it’s a normal part of baby development. Maybe, your baby is just going through a developmental change.
Some of the developmental changes that I often see as a postpartum doula happen around:
- 3-4 days, as babies seem to wake up and notice us in the world. They also seem to suddenly become HUNGRY. (Fun fact: this is tied to the biology of breastfeeding as mature milk is developing for most birthing parents at this time.)
- 3-4 weeks, when babies who could sleep through anything, suddenly notice if the lights are on
- 3-4 months, when the “Fourth Trimester” is ending, and babies are more prepared to take on the world outside the womb
This “rule of 3s” makes things fairly predictable for me as a postpartum doula. It’s like a baby development cheat code.
But there are other developmental stages, and sometimes I’ve found myself with a client long term and realized, “Whoa, this baby is weird this week.”
Enter one of my favorite apps for new parents- The Wonder Weeks, which began as a book about baby development.
The bestseller is now in its sixth edition and still going strong. It outlines 10 stages of development for infants and explains that it’s perfectly natural for babies to go through fussy periods around these stages.
Hear that, new parents? Your baby can fuss even when they’re well-fed, well-loved and nothing is “wrong”.
I love a good book, but for a quick and dirty reference (and visuals), I’m a huge fan of the Wonder Weeks app.
After downloading, you enter your estimated due date, and based on this, the app tracks when you can expect your baby to make what the researchers call “developmental leaps”.
Unlike milestones you might be familiar with, these leaps aren’t necessarily about a new skill your baby has achieved.
The Wonder Weeks developmental leaps are about how children understand and interact with the world. These stages of baby development are often the key to those milestones- it’s like seeing behind the curtain.
The Wonder Weeks app explains exactly what your baby is capable of after each of the leaps. And it also outlines when to expect fussiness (often as your child’s brain is growing), and gives you tips on how to cope.
One of the coolest features to me is that Wonder Weeks shows you videos of what your baby is learning and how they see the world. For instance, it shows the changes in baby’s vision over time, and how they understand events like you leaving the room.
Let’s be honest, changes that infants go through can seem unpredictable, and meeting their needs is a lot of effort. It’s absolutely worth it, and gratifying, but when what you’re doing doesn’t seem to “work” it’s tough. Been there.
So if you’re feeling a bit uneasy about how you’re baby is doing, maybe check out the Wonder Weeks app, and get some clues about baby development.
I think it can be such a relief to understand what’s happening for your baby, and when.
And anything that reassures parents that they’re doing a good job gets plenty of stars from me.
Learn more about postpartum support here!
