Doula Confession: I Can’t Remember Lullabies

As a Postpartum and Infant Care Doula, I know how to deal with a baby crying. I tend to be good at keeping little ones calm, and not freaking out when they’re upset. 

But I never call myself a baby whisperer.

One of the things that important to us, at DC Metro Maternity, is that our clients know that there’s no special sauce for how to take care of a baby. It’s something we can learn to do, and something we can all get good at.

So on that note, I have a confession:

Whenever I want to sing lullabies to babies, I completely draw a blank!

Ya know what I do remember? Pop songs, and trap music. I’ve found myself singing:

• Hall & Oates (I Can’t Go for That was our favorite)

• Rihanna (We Found Love can be pretty sentimental if you just slow it down a little bit)

• Migos (I hummed Bad & Boujee, because I draw the line at cussing out loud to a baby)

This is especially tragic, because once upon a time, I thought I would sing for a living. I actually have an undergraduate degree in vocal performance! And now, I can’t remember lullabies to save my life.

I feel you judging, and I’m okay with that. Because this should be reassuring for the new parents reading this.

Despite this epic doula failure, I manage to soothe babies!

That’s right, my lack of lullaby skills doesn’t mean that I’m helpless when I have to stop a crying baby. My tiny clients aren’t destined for bad things even when I forget Lullaby and Goodnight. 

So what’s the trick? Just remember the Five S’s, from Dr. Harvey Karp’s Happiest Baby on the Block. 

The 5 S’s are pretty simple. If a newborn is upset, and it’s my job to calm her down, I do the following:

• Swaddle the baby

• Allow baby to suck (on a pacifier in my case)

• Sway gently

• Shush baby (with a loud SHHH or a white noise machine)

• Side lying or stomach (in my arms)

I love these tools for a few reasons:

1. These work with a variety of parenting styles. Whether you’re into attachment parenting, hoping to get baby on a schedule, or somewhere in between, Dr. Karp has you covered.
2. This method is simple, and doesn’t require a lot of gadgets.
3. The S’s are pretty intuitive.

And, as someone who forgets Hush Little Baby whenever she needs it, I’ve got to have simple, reliable methods to depend on when it’s time to soothe a baby. Between this, and the confidence and calm that comes from knowing that no baby cries forever, I do alright.

So fear not. If you too have forgotten the words to the lullabies of your childhood, you can still be a good parent. No baby whisperer skills required.

Learn more about our postpartum support here!