Picture it- Columbia, MD, 1AM. Your baby is crying.
You just fed her, and changed her. You’re holding her close in your arms but for some reason she’s unhappy at the moment.
You’re exhausted, sleepy, and a little hungry, but she’s in your arms so you can’t quite reach the granola bar that’s on your nightstand.
All you want is to soothe your baby girl so you can put her back to bed. But this just isn’t your night.
If you’re like many parents, you can imagine yourself in this situation, because you’ve been there before (maybe change the gender of the baby or partner, and move the scenario to elsewhere in the DMV).
What did you do? Maybe you rocked and swayed and shushed her until she settled. Or you fed her again. Maybe you woke up your partner in desperation, in case someone else had the answer. You might have cried along with your baby.
There are no right or wrong answers, because parenting isn’t a multiple choice exam.
But if you’ve been in this scenario, you know that you would have LOVED a cheat sheet. And what you needed was some help. You needed some reassurance that everything will be okay, and that sometimes babies just cry but not forever.
You might have a partner, but bless his heart, he handled the 11pm feeding and is snoring on the couch. Or maybe she has to get to work in the morning. Maybe you’re a single parent (whether a single mom by choice or circumstance). Or it could be that both of you were standing there together, absolutely stumped by your baby.
Either way, what most parents need at that very moment is some help and support. Someone with plenty of experience soothing newborns. A person who notices hunger cues, can work out baby gas and re-tighten their swaddles. Or someone who has enough sleep and perspective to know that sometimes babies just cry because the world is big and new, and it’s not a judgement of your parenting.
Those people are postpartum doulas, and that’s exactly what a postpartum doula is there for, even in the middle of the night: support, guidance, reassurance.
A postpartum doula’s job is to be there for you no matter the circumstances, and no matter the hour.
We are dedicated to your family and are here to help you in situations that are hard. And when we do overnights we can help in a number of ways including:
- Endless source of information and support even if you’re bleary-eyed
- Company during overnight feeds if they feel lonely
- Recognizing the normal and not-so-normal signs of postpartum emotional recovery, especially during the night when intrusive thoughts may come up
- Help you establish your parenting philosophies, including around sleep and schedules
- Help you maintain healthy relationships, which is easier when everyone gets rest
- Education on your baby, and how to learn their cues (for example, for hunger, sleep or gas)
- Sharing information about normal developmental milestones including sleep habits
- Support with feeding whether you’re breastfeeding or bottlefeeding
- Making sure you don’t wake up to a sink full of pump parts and dirty bottles
Postpartum doulas are there to support you in any way you need it. We are an extension of you and your family, a companion, including during the overnight hours.
Let’s be honest- it can feel kind of weird to invite someone into your home at 10pm to stay overnight. And most of our clients are used to having “hired help”.
That’s why our doula team is trained and certified, and can provide background checks. This work may seem odd, but we know that in the overnight is often when things seem the most confusing for new parents. It is also the time when you’re least likely to have friends and family able to be awake and support you.
As doulas, we can be there for you even at times where it’s inconvenient.
Overnight support is also important because we care deeply about your emotional recovery.
We know that postpartum- the time after birth- is a sensitive time. Many women and new parents go through difficult and confusing feelings, and lack of sleep can exacerbate this. In fact, studies show that women who are experiencing depression typically sleep less in the postpartum period, and waking frequently can increase symptoms of postpartum depression. We think that this is a chicken and egg situation- is the depression disrupting sleep, or is disrupted sleep impacting your mood?
Either way, we’re here to let you know that these feelings are often temporary. Doulas are experienced in noticing the signs of postpartum depression and anxiety. We will make sure that you get the help you need and deserve. Whether that means providing assurance not to quit breastfeeding on a bad day, connecting you to resources like mom groups, or therapy, or staying with the baby so that you get sleep.
You deserve to feel like you. And being the best version of yourself let’s you raise your little one. Well-rested mothers tend to be happier mothers.
Visit our postpartum doula page and learn more about what we can do for you. Give us a call and let’s work together.
