My very first trained doula work was as an abortion doula.
I don’t talk about this much.
But in times such as these, where we have Supreme Court draft opinions that may change the options for pregnant folks, I want to be clear-
I am not ashamed of having supported clients through pregnancy terminations.
I don’t discuss it for many reasons-
One is that it’s not super uplifting. While we’re happy to deal with both joy and pain with you (I mean, that’s labor, right?) so many of our clients feel like they’re fighting statistical odds to get through pregnancy, or have had fertility challenges or losses. I want to turn your attention to joy where we can.
I also am aware that many of our clients (and doulas!) are folks of deep faith. Me too, but I know that our religion and spirituality can divide us on this issue. I like to be respectful.
The thing is though, I’m quite proud of my abortion doula work. I think it was an entry point into doula work that allowed me to truly begin with compassion.
It also taught me that women and people who have abortions, are just that- women and people. I volunteered at a clinic in Northern Virginia. As a doula there, I got to be by people’s side, and hold their hands as they made the best decision they could. These decisions were sometimes tough, and sometimes very clear. But I never met anyone on the very best day of their life.
Most of the folks I supported were Black and brown. They weren’t typically what folks ignorant to the issue imagine- irresponsible stereotypes.
They were by and large mothers, actually. (Which is statistically true.) Some of them very much mourned the experience. We processed and prayed about what was happening, whether for medical or practical reasons.
In many ways, those doula clients were a lot like my current labor and postpartum clients- folks who were making the best decisions they could for themselves and their families.
You should know that at DC Metro Maternity, we will support you regardless of the outcome of your pregnancy. I believe that no one should be forced into pregnancy or parenthood. Rather, I trust your judgement, and my own, and I believe that we are the best ones who know if and when the time is right for us to conceive. I want to live in a world where we can act on those decisions safely, freely and simply.
I believe in reproductive justice– the right to maintain power over our bodies, the right to have a child, the right to not have a child, and the right to parent a child or children in safe and healthy environments.
At DCMM, several of us are trained and experienced in supporting clients through terminations. We can also support through loss and other fertility challenges. Just because it’s not a service we’re marketing and selling (I’d rather not make a profit off of your hardest days), doesn’t mean we aren’t ready to help you find what you need.
We will continue to support you, even if the US becomes a place where it’s even more challenging to be empowered as a Black woman of childbearing age. You’re safe here with us.
