It’s the first week of 2020. It’s the start of a new year, and a whole new decade. So during the times that I’m sitting at my desk procrastinating a bit, everything I see on my newsfeed is either a recap, or a declaration of hope for the future. It’s time for New Year’s Resolutions!
And it’s beautiful.
As someone in her early 30s, the last decade has been HUGE for my peers. A lot of them have grown up. We’ve found careers, and partners. We’ve switched careers and partners. Found purpose, and boundaries and healing. Overcome illness and loss and self-doubt.
And as a doula, I always notice the families. My friends, cousins and clients have had their first and fourth babies. So many babies.
There’s so much hope for the future. I’m virtually (and in real life) surrounded by folks who choose to keep pushing, and keep growing. There are plans to achieve and attain so many dreams. Or plans to learn stillness and contentment in yourselves.
Although winter is not my favorite season, I’m so inspired by the determination I see around me every January, and the optimism of New Year’s Resolutions.
I’m not immune. I’ve been looking back over the last decade of my life too. I’ve worked with several nonprofits where I found a passion for women’s health that I would never have predicted in 2010. I’ve run a half marathon, been a bridesmaid a handful of times and grown out my hair and cut it off several times. I’ve learned about a love of entrepreneurship and running my business.
My business. My doula work.
Since its founding, Sam Olivia Doula and now DC Metro Maternity has served 59 families. I’ve gone from working solo to a team of six doulas working together.
We’ve supported families as your doulas in hospitals and birth centers, and in your homes across DC, Maryland, and Virginia.
We’ve reassured women that black motherhood does not equate with risk and death. That doula support is for us, and our families. We have laughed with you all and cried. We’ve been the village and helped you build your own. I’ve trained doulas.
And we’re going to do more.
In the next 10 years of DC Metro Maternity, I have a vision of a team that feels like a family. I want us to model a village for our clients and our larger community. I feel like I’ve barely begun to do what I hope for our clients, my team and myself.
The challenge of this though can be the idea that “new decade, new me” negates all that the old us has done.
For me, the last decade of Sam includes struggles with anxiety and depression. I’ve struggled in relationships (romantically and with friends), and have an unfinished Masters in Public Health.
These things that I would call failures have opened the door for successes though. Depression has made me empathetic in a way that I never would have been otherwise. I’m not afraid of the darkness of a big, deep contraction or a two am breastfeeding session because I know what it’s like when the only way out is through. I believe in the power of family and forgiveness in a way I may not otherwise, and can accept our client’s partnerships (or lack thereof) without judgement. And if I was in grad school, I wouldn’t have time, the brain capacity or bandwidth to do live-in postpartum and infant care support.
So in 2020 and the next decade, I’m not leaving anything behind. I’m refining, for sure, and I’m asking for help more often. I’m certainly changing some patterns. But it was the very flawed but super resilient Sam that took me from early adulthood in 2010, to now. And I’m embracing all of her.
I hope you can celebrate the You of the past decade as well. Because I’m sure you’ve been amazing.
