Please, Don't Make My Baby Sick

Everyone loves to cuddle babies. It’s one of the first things that people want to ask parents- “He’s so cute! Can I hold him?” It’s awkward to say no to such a loving question. But as a postpartum doula I can say for sure that some parents want to.

All the while, as you’re snuggling their newborn, they might be thinking “What if you make the baby sick?” or “Oh God, please don’t kiss her.”

I promise that these parents aren’t being jerks. They’re just being cautious.

With all the uproar over vaccines, worries about passing HSV (known as herpes or cold sores) onto babies, and how germy DC’s public transportation is (no offense to the Metro, I’m a fan), they’re not wrong for their concerns.

It’s a simple fact that bacteria and viruses that are no big deal to adults with functioning immune systems can be quite dangerous to infants. You can make a baby sick, without ever realizing that you were exposed to an illness.

It’s an especially challenging ordeal for parents whose babies were born early, or were small. If their babies were not premature or low birth weight but they’re now home, thankfully all is well. But these parents, whose children may have spent time in the NICU, tend to be cautious long after.

As a postpartum and infant care doula, I’ve always been careful. But last winter, I saw first hand how little germs make a big difference.

I worked with two different families who had sick babies.

One little girl was fairly typical of a baby who catches a cold. She was around 5 months and thriving. Her mom used the Nose Frida to suck boogers and snot, lots of steam showers, and followed the pediatrician’s recommendations around medication.

She was absolutely miserable, like any sick baby. Imagine suddenly not being able to breathe and having a sore throat, and having no idea why?

Thankfully though, she recovered just fine. In fact, her poor mother was sick longer, and like it does for all of us, the cold built up her immune system.

Another family though, had a harder time. One of their twins caught a bug that seemed like a cold from an older sibling.

Eventually, the twin had to be hospitalized for RSV, and it was scary.

Suddenly not only were there two babies (and older children), everyone wasn’t even living in the same place. Listening to the mother describe the suctioning of her baby in the hospital is something I’ll never forget. And going back and forth was hard on her breastfeeding efforts, which were already something to behold with twins.

A hospital stay is a worst case scenario when a baby is sick. It doesn’t usually happen. But who can blame parents for worrying?

Fortunately, there are simple things that you can do to ease their fears as a visitor to a newborn.

Wash your hands when entering a home where a new baby lives. Ask if they’d like your shoes off, for good measure.
Find out if they’re among the parents who follow advice to have everyone in close contact with the baby vaccinated for tDAP and the flu. You don’t have to vaccinate yourself (your body, your choice), but it’s kind to respect their wishes.
If you’re sick, stay home. This is what facetime was made for, and you can visit the new baby and parents when you’re well.
Offer to do things other than hold the baby. I know, baby snuggles are amazing, but don’t put parents in an awkward situation. If they want you to hold their little squish, they’ll offer.

And parents, if you’re concerned about germs, there are things you can do:

Wash your hands frequently.
If you have older children (especially those in elementary school) consider having them change clothes when they come home from school in case a classmate was sick.
Practice saying out loud “We’re waiting awhile before anyone but immediate family holds him.” Shrug apologetically, if you like. Or talk to them about your baby’s micriobiome “We only want him colonized by mom and dad”, and wait until their eyes glaze over.
Feeling less confrontational? Wearing your baby is an easy way to keep him tucked away from people in public. Only the boldest folks will invade your personal space in this way.

So, as back to school and the winter months come closer, know that new parents aren’t just being germaphobes. They just don’t want you to make their baby sick, and we can all pitch in to do our part.

Motherhood can be difficult but we’re here to help, schedule a call and let’s chat.

Please, Don’t Make My Baby Sick

All the while, as you’re snuggling their newborn, they might be thinking “What if you make the baby sick?” or “Oh God, please don’t kiss her.”

It’s a simple fact that bacteria and viruses that are no big deal to adults with functioning immune systems can be quite dangerous to infants. You can make a baby sick, without ever realizing that you were exposed to an illness.

I worked with two different families who had sick babies.

She was absolutely miserable, like any sick baby. Imagine suddenly not being able to breathe and having a sore throat, and having no idea why?

Eventually, the twin had to be hospitalized for RSV, and it was scary.

A hospital stay is a worst case scenario when a baby is sick. It doesn’t usually happen. But who can blame parents for worrying?

Fortunately, there are simple things that you can do to ease their fears as a visitor to a newborn.

Wash your hands when entering a home where a new baby lives. Ask if they’d like your shoes off, for good measure.

Find out if they’re among the parents who follow advice to have everyone in close contact with the baby vaccinated for tDAP and the flu. You don’t have to vaccinate yourself (your body, your choice), but it’s kind to respect their wishes.

If you’re sick, stay home. This is what facetime was made for, and you can visit the new baby and parents when you’re well.

Offer to do things other than hold the baby. I know, baby snuggles are amazing, but don’t put parents in an awkward situation. If they want you to hold their little squish, they’ll offer.

And parents, if you’re concerned about germs, there are things you can do:

Wash your hands frequently.

If you have older children (especially those in elementary school) consider having them change clothes when they come home from school in case a classmate was sick.

Practice saying out loud “We’re waiting awhile before anyone but immediate family holds him.” Shrug apologetically, if you like. Or talk to them about your baby’s micriobiome “We only want him colonized by mom and dad”, and wait until their eyes glaze over.

Feeling less confrontational? Wearing your baby is an easy way to keep him tucked away from people in public. Only the boldest folks will invade your personal space in this way.