When I tell people that DC Metro Maternity is a labor and postpartum doula agency, they might not know exactly what I mean. Usually, they have an idea that it’s about people giving birth, and they’re excited to tell me about their birth story.
At some point though, if we’re having a good conversation, I talk about our focus on postpartum doula work. I tell people that supporting families with newborns is so important, and how much I love it. But while I’m busy gushing, people’s expression usually shifts to one of concern.
“Oh yea, I was worried that I had that. Thank goodness I felt better when I went back to work. It’s so important to help those new moms with the postpartum.”
What they’re referring to, of course, is postpartum depression.
They think of mothers overwhelmed by birth, not showering and never leaving the house. Perhaps they think of parents that can’t connect with the new baby. Or people obsessing about their infant’s well-being to an unhealthy degree. They’re picturing people struggling.
But postpartum is really just the time after a birth. It’s an adjective. If a family is in their postpartum period, it means they have had a baby.
It seems pretty telling, that we immediately associate this time period with a mood disorder. Almost like we don’t expect good things for new parents.
To be fair, in a society where postpartum mood and anxiety disorders affect 15-20% of new mothers, it’s not a problem that should be ignored. And the lack of parental leave that many people experience, does lend itself to a short and challenging adjustment period.
None of it has to be that way tough. I think we should expect more, after we have a baby.
We should expect to feel supported as new parents.
We should expect to feed ourselves and not just our children.
We should expect to get some sleep and not be awake for days on end with an infant.
We should expect not to feel isolated and alone in our home with an infant.
We should expect to feel confident in caring for our newborns.
But we don’t. We expect depression.
In my opinion, shifting this expectation is one of our main jobs as postpartum doulas.I want our clients, at DC Metro Maternity, to expect more. I want them to expect to thrive.
At the very least, when people use postpartum in a sentence, I don’t want it to be only about depression.
Learn more about our postpartum services here, we want to support you.
