Pregnant women have the privilege of creating life. It’s amazing.
They also have the burden of having to listen to everyone’s opinions about it, all while the baby moves their organs around and eats all of their food.
Pregnancy is a miracle. But it’s also exhausting.
On any given night, a little person might be kicking or pawing at their parent’s bladder, and who can sleep through that?
Plus, there’s no convenient time to be pregnant. In winter, we never know when DC, MD and VA are going to get a mountain of snow, and they’ll have to figure out how to keep a pregnant belly warm. In the summer in the DC humidity makes lots of people miserable, but especially those growing entire humans.
Add to the physical discomforts of pregnancy the number of doctor or midwife’s appointments, the pressure of choosing a doula, nanny, daycare, and pediatrician, and scheduling childbirth education classes, and it’s a lot.
Expectant families are being hit with a lot all at once. And one thing that none of them ask for is input from strangers. Some of them don’t even really want advice from friends and family, since so much of it is unsolicited or outdated.
So don’t be the well-meaning person who says these things:
- It’s about time. I thought y’all would NEVER get pregnant.
- Oh wow. Do you know who the father is?
- You’re having another one?
- You’re huge! Is it twins? Are you sure?
- Remember when we went to happy hour before you knew you were pregnant? Are you worried about that?
- You’re carrying high. Must be a girl.
- Are you overdue? That must be so annoying.
- You’re *STILL* pregnant? It’s been forever!
- Should you be eating that?
- Should you be lifting that?
- Are you even allowed to ride a plane?
- When was the last time you saw your feet?
- You HAVE to breastfeed. OR Just use formula- it’s so much easier.
- You HAVE to get an epidural. OR A natural birth is really the best thing for your baby.
- You know vaccines are toxic right?
- Oh it’s a girl? You’ll keep trying for a boy, right? (or vice versa)
- Are you going to *whisper* circumcise? I could never do that to my son.
- You’re going to stay home with her, right? OR Well, I’m sure you’ll be back to work in no time.
- I used this workout to get back to my pre-baby weight. I’ll send it to you!
- Ohhhh, can I feel him kick? *reaches in before getting a yes*
Remember, someone who’s pregnant has enough to deal with. So if you want to share opinions about a pregnancy, make sure they’re welcome.
Pro-tip: Most of the time, unless you’re being asked for your input or experience, opinions really aren’t welcome.
Mothers and fathers all learn to trust their instincts on what’s right for their baby. And when they want our help, they can ask!
Just riding the metro to downtown Silver Spring, or strolling through Old Town Alexandria, is NOT asking for advice.
Looking for an alternative to being kind of rude and intrusive? You could always avoid assuming that you know best for everyone else. Instead, just wish them well and remember that the best business to mind, is your own.
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