As postpartum and infant care doulas, we often help parents figure out ways to help their babies get to sleep. Parents want help for a couple of reasons:
- When babies don’t sleep, nobody sleeps. And sleep is essential!
- Sometimes even when babies sleep, parents worry.
We know that parents worry, because you tell us in the middle of the night:
A breastfeeding mother talks to her doula at 1am about how she watched her little girl’s chest move for hours the night before.
An exhausted dad asks us at a doula interview to come check out the bassinet to make sure they’re “doing it right”.
If we read between the lines, parents are worried that their babies will be safe all night. Put bluntly, parents worry about SIDS (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome).
It’s a scary thought, that your precious little one won’t make it through the night, and it’s a source of major concern.
Fortunately, we’re professionals trained to know what the latest recommendations for safe sleep are and to help you get some rest while making it happen.
As postpartum and infant care doulas, we rely on the American Academy of Pediatrics’ (AAP) guidelines for safe sleep when we’re putting your baby to bed.
The key things that we know make babies safer and reduce the risk of SIDS are:
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Putting babies on their back to sleep.
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Using a firm, flat surface for sleep, with a tight fitted sheet and nothing else.
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Room sharing with your baby for the first 6 months, or ideally through the first year.
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Avoid placing your baby to sleep on a couch, armchair or sofa, and if you’re falling asleep with them on one of these surfaces, place baby down on their safe sleep surface.
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Swaddling your baby only until they are beginning to roll over.
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Offering baby a pacifier at naps and bedtime.
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Bedsharing is not recommended by the AAP.
The good news is that thanks to communication from pediatricians, most of our clients are aware of these guidelines.
We can also report that we generally are able to help babies (and their parents) get plenty of sleep while following safety guidelines.
The best news of all is, that babies are very resilient, and most of them do just fine.
Now, some of you may be wondering, “What happens when my doula comes and sees that we can only get our son to sleep in the Rock ‘n Play?” Or, “Oh no, does this mean that they will scold me for bed-sharing? I get enough of that from the pediatrician.
Here’s the thing:
We are not the baby safe sleep doula police.
As parents, you get to decide what the very best choices are for your family. We’re not going to come into your home and make you feel bad.
What these guidelines mean is that on nights when we’re putting the baby down, it’s our job to get them (and you!) rest while abiding by AAP recommendations. We have a few tricks up our sleeves, and the benefit of being able to rest when our shift is over.
Sometimes this means introducing some white noise or blackout curtains.
Maybe we need to change the swaddle or pacifier that we’re using with your little one.
It may mean paying very close attention to your child’s sleep cues and reporting them to you in the morning. Overtired babies are very hard to put down.
If you tell us that you want help, we can talk to you about how to make bed-sharing safer.
For instance, did you know that there are co-sleepers which create a baby safe surface, without you having to get up in the middle of the night?
We can also talk to you about worries that keep you up at night.
As loving an act as it is, watching your baby breathe for hours on end, or constantly monitoring their oxygen levels with an Owlet isn’t something you can keep up long term on your own. We want you to rest.
Our hope is that the entire family gets sleep and feels safe. Let us know how we can help.
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Learn more about postpartum support here!
