The day you get home from the hospital, your baby can sleep through anything. From cuddling with Mom, to Grandma’s lap, to skin to skin on Dad. And while this game of pass the baby continues, the TV is going to catch up on the news, and the dog barks because he missed you, and someone calls to wish you congratulations.
But then, something changes.
Suddenly, babies seem to wake up. When they do, it’s like they plan to stay awake FOREVER. And they’re so mad about it!
You’re minding your new parent business, thinking about what a wonderful little sleeper you have.
Then suddenly it’s like your baby got traded in for a new model. Now, with more screams!
This sends many new parents into a panic.
Did we break our baby? Is he not eating enough? Is he in pain? Did we check his diaper? You go through the whole list, and nothing seems to work. What are you doing wrong?
That panic, in turn, revs the baby up even further. The crying gets louder, and now you’re in tears too. And as the game of pass the baby continues, trying to solve the problem, your little guy is red in the face and you’re all inconsolable.
Some of you who’ve made it out of the newborn stage are feeling triggered just reading that. Maybe it helps to know that you’re not alone.
At some point or another, most of us will experience the wails of an overstimulated baby. You might hear this called the witching hour. It may even be the cause of colic.
I think of it like going to a music festival. The first few hours of Afropunk or Broccoli City are amazing. The people are gorgeous, the bands are great, and I’m eating from a food truck. I’m in heaven.
But by nightfall, if I’m not careful, I have the attitude from hell. My feet hurt, my ears are ringing, I have a headache, and everyone stinks. I’m ready to bite the head off of the next person that bumps into me.
This is EVERY DAY of your newborn’s life.
Remember, everything is brand new for him, and the combination of sensations can be overwhelming.
So what do we do with an overstimulated baby?
Step 1: Take a breath. Your baby is incredibly connected to you (after all, he grew inside you!). He feeds off of your mood, and you’re probably overstimulated too. It’s okay if you need to set him down in a safe place and regroup in another room. You’ll be back.
Step 2: Make the environment as calm as possible. Sometimes this means turning off the TV, dimming the lights and closing the door. Often, it’s easiest to take baby away from all of the family, and find a bathroom or closet where it’s just you and him.
Step 3: Wrap your baby tight, and hold him close. I know this is hard when he’s screaming, but this is only temporary. Resist the urge to pass the baby, because a new person, with new smells and sensations will only add to baby’s overwhelm.
Step 4: With your baby snug against your chest, sway gently, shush in his ear (louder than you think you need to), and pat his bottom gently and repetitively.
Step 5: Keep it up. Keep breathing, and try to change as little about what you’re doing as possible. Baby will settle.
Like with so many things, the best way to handle an overstimulated baby is to prevent it. Keep him soothed, make sure that your baby is getting enough rest (they need a lot!), and avoid playing pass the baby when you see signs of your little one getting tired.
And again, remember that you’re not alone. Lots of infants go through a period where they’re fussier. But it passes, just like the scent of a music festival always washes off. You’ve got this, and we’re all rooting for you.
For more support learn about our postpartum doulas here!
